


The Worst Fucking Rockstars in the World

by ermengarde



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Community: no_tags, M/M, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 22:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermengarde/pseuds/ermengarde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the September 2013 round of No_tags: Pairing/Prompt: #8: Ray/Gerard, They are *finally* going to sleep together. Because both are virgins, though, there's a lot of adorable fumbling that first time. Bonus points if both Ray and Gerard are in their early 20s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Fucking Rockstars in the World

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of previous (canon) addiction issues.
> 
>  Originally posted [at the No_tags community on Dreamwidth](http://no-tags.dreamwidth.org/19445.html)
> 
> Thank you to Patty for the read through and cheering, ILU ♥. 
> 
> Dear prompter, I hope I hit something you find adorable, I had the _most_ fun writing it.

Ray is, Gerard thinks, the best person in the whole entire world, apart from Mikey (because _Mikey_ ), but Gerard doesn't really want to snuggle with Mikey (because _boney_ ) and he definitely doesn't want to, like, do, um, _sex_ stuff with Mikey (brotherbrotherbrotherbrotherbrother) and he does with Ray. In theory, anyway.

Like, Gerard really _wants_ to, but he thinks he should probably talk to Ray about it first, which is terrifying, although Ray's really... Ray makes him feel really safe and warm and, like... Ray makes Gerard feel like he's _special_ , when Gerard knows that he's really only special on stage, and that in real life he's an alcoholic who battles against taking a little something to make himself feel better, or more awake, or to sleep, or not to feel at all _every day_ , and that sometimes he smells because he doesn't think to shower when he could be sleeping, or writing, or reading (honestly _everyone_ smells on tour, even Frank, and Frank is a clean freak, but... yeah, Gerard knows that he's generally a level more toxic than normal people. He's like +10 lethality to Tour Stink).

Ray still hugs Gerard when his funk's so strong that the smell's practically drawing visible lines in the air, and Ray holds Gerard's hand when he's feeling that itch under his skin, in his brain, that means he's five seconds away from going to find some pills, and Ray always gets Gerard's favorites from the gas station when Gerard's feeling too hermity to leave the bus (and Ray knows the order that Gerard's favorites rank in _and_ how the ranking changes depending on what soda's available, or if there's coffee. Even Mikey doesn't understand that Funyuns are only acceptable if there's this one weird brand of orange soda, that you can only get in some states, but that _with_ that soda, Funyuns are the best food in the whole world ever), and Ray is.... Ray is fucking magical and talking to him about fun sex stuff should be _easy_ , because fuck, Gerard talks about blow jobs on stage, in front of billions of homophobic assholes, who could, like, kill him with their thumbs, but...It's scary.

Ray is really fucking sexy... Gerard can't really look at him on stage, because he's so _competent_ , just always _perfect_ and _right_ and his _**hands**_... and Gerard can't look at Ray and concentrate on anything else at the same time, and what if Ray's like that with sex, and what if he thinks _Gerard_ is like that with sex, because Gerard knows how to _talk_ a good game, and....Gerard really likes what he already has with Ray and he doesn't want to fuck it up by trying the sex stuff with Ray and being really _bad_ at it.

Gerard tries mostly not to think about how much he’d probably like to have sex with Ray, and tries to think about how Ray is the best person he knows, instead, because thinking about sex with Ray makes Gerard’s brain explode.

 

"Gee?" Ray's marking out chords on Gerard's arm and the gentle movement of his fingers against Gerard's skin has been zoning Gerard out, like a happy kitten.

Gerard stretches out cat-like on the uncomfortable bus couch, wishing he could bend his spine in that arch shape that cats do, to unclick all his back, and he butts his head into Ray's chest. He is _comfy_ lying half on top of Ray, and they're all trapped on the bus with nothing to do but just _be_ and he kind of hopes that Ray doesn't want him to do anything strenuous, like playing Magic, or sitting up.

"Mmmh?"

"It's uhh." Ray stops, and Gerard can hear him sucking his lip into his mouth. That noise always makes Gerard want to kiss Ray, so he twists around, checks that the rest of their band are safely in the bunks (Bob generally looks disgruntled at PDAs, Mikey makes mournful noises and Frank starts throwing condoms at them, it's not always worth it) and sucks Ray's lip into his _own_ mouth. Gerard could kiss Ray for hours, and, okay, so kissing Ray pretty much puts his brain offline, but he really can't work out now why they weren't kissing already.

Gerard whines sadly when Ray eventually pulls back, although his lips are beginning to feel a little sore, so maybe a break is a good idea. Ray smiles and laughs at him. Ray is beautiful. "As I was saying before you interrupted, it's a hotel night tomorrow."

"I didn't interrupt you, you stopped!" Gerard _didn't_ , he _doesn't_ interrupt, not Ray, not unless his brain gets latched onto something and his mouth runs off by itself. He likes listening to Ray, and he's been _being careful_ not to make Ray stop talking.

Ray giggles and grabs onto Gerard's hand, which has been gesticulating without permission again. "M'only teasing Gee." Ray kisses the end of Gerard's nose, which Gerard _thinks_ should make him feel like a puppy, but mostly it makes him feel like everything is okay. "I just...We don't need to check out until _noon_ and there's a door that locks and real beds and I, um," Ray's cheeks are going pink, it's an awesome color on him and Gerard's fingers itch for paints or chalks or something to try and capture how _pretty_ Ray looks right now. Ray takes a deep breath. "I wondered if you maybe, like, kinda wanted to move things up a level. With us. But." Ray is looking anywhere but at Gerard, it's weird. “Only if you want to."

"Up a level?" Gerard thinks ( _hopes_ , if that's the right word for the jumpiness he's feeling right under his diaphragm) Ray might mean, like, third base maybe, but it's possible that he's talking about his Paladin. Gerard wants to be _sure_.

Ray shifts a little and Gerard has to wrap his arm around Ray's shoulders so he's not bumped off of Ray's chest. Gerard _likes_ leaning up against Ray's chest. Ray buries his face in Gerard's neck and nods, and licks that patch, just behind Gerard's ear that is _magic_ and a shudder works its way down through Gerard's whole body, from where Ray's tongue is, right down to his toes.

 

Probably not talking about his Paladin, then.

 

Gerard can't work out if his nerves about what is going to happen in their hotel room totally fuck with his performance, or if his anticipation means he's totally on fucking fire. He feels all over the fucking place and his heart is _racing_ , is still racing when he gets off stage, it's like being on coke, except better, because he's _present_ in a way he never was on coke and his dick is hard, has been hard for fucking hours, which _never_ fucking happened on coke, or vodka, or fucking anything he used to take.

The journey from the venue to the hotel takes hours... _days_ , and Gerard doesn’t even get to sit next to Ray, because Frankie’s hogging him to talk about _music_. Gerard is being _thwarted_. And also he’s getting kind of anxious but he’s trying to ignore that (his therapist says denial is the enemy of sobriety, but his therapist has never maybe been going to have sex with Ray Toro. His therapist can fuck off).

Finally they arrive and Ray grabs their overnight bag (Ray is the best person in the whole entire world. Ray packed Gerard’s stuff in with his own so Gerard didn’t need to pack at all) and snags their keycards and drags Gerard to the elevator and Gerard didn’t think that weak at the knees was a real thing, but his feel kind of like they’re made of marshmallow or something.

This..Ray...Them....Sex with Ray...This is going to happen.

 

“Hey, Earth to Gerard...” Ray is smiling at him and waving a hand in front of his face, possibly the knee thing made Gerard space out a little bit.

Gerard can’t help but grin back at Ray, Ray is _awesome_. “Hi, I, um. Hi?”

“Come on space cadet, this is our floor.” Ray takes Gerard’s hand and pulls him out of the elevator and along the corridor. Gerard always has to check the thing that the keycard comes in for his room number, but Ray just _remembers_ , like magic. The cards always seem to work first time for him, too.

Gerard watches as Ray makes the lock work and pushes open the door, watches the lines of the muscles in Ray’s arm and shoulder flex under his worn Iron Maiden shirt. Gerard’s mouth waters and his dick twitches in his pants, still hard.

“So. Um.” Ray drops their bag on the dresser and looks at the room. “I was. Um. Maybe...” Ray pulls the tie out of his hair and then puts it back in again, like he’s trying to make sure it’s out of the way and Gerard gets a sudden flash of Ray on his knees in front of Gerard, nosing at Gerard’s dick and really all Gerard wants to do is suck _Ray’s_ dick and.... he’s fallen to his knees, gracelessly, with a thump, before he’s even thought about it, and he’s pulling at Ray’s zipper, and it’s _hard_ because _Ray’s_ hard and _fuck_ Ray is _big_ , like, Gerard needs both his hands to make sure he’s touching it all and there’s no way he’s going to get it all in his mouth, because he’s not like the porn guys, he’s got a gag reflex that kicks in when he’s chewing a pencil, but he’s got to try, he’s got to _taste_ and he sticks out his tongue and licks and then Ray’s _coming_ , just fucking pumping all over Gerard’s tongue and lips and face and holy fucking _shit_....He’s just had sex with Ray, but he did it _wrong_ and Ray’s going to think he’s a tool.

Gerard sinks back on his heels, his brain far too full of thoughts all going far too fast and his heart’s still racing and his chest feels tight and he _knew_ he’d be shit at this and screw it up, screw up with _Ray_ and....

 

“Fuck, fuck, Gee,” Ray is on the floor next to him, wiping strong thumbs over his face. “Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“What? But, no, _I’m_ sorry, I just. I...” Gerard doesn’t know how to tell Ray that it was all a fucking front, that he hasn’t done this before, that he really, really wants another chance to do it better, “Ray, I.... Please? I love you, please, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I hadn’t...”

Ray’s face has gone all weird, like he’s happy and guilty and like the time he stole Frankie’s last e-string and the time Gerard found the shampoo he really likes half off, and...

“You love me?”

“Yeah.” Gerard nods, hard, how could Ray not have known that already? “Like, you’re the best person in the entire world.”

“Oh, fuck.” Ray sniffs and there are tears in his eyes, and his face is red, but he’s smiling. “I. Um. You’re my, um. I haven’t. Before. I’m sorry I was so fast, but you felt so _good_.”

 _Good_ , Gerard was _good_? And... “Ray, are you a virgin, too?”

Ray hiccups. “Not anymore, I don’t think, I mean, I dunno, I guess my brothers would say I am, but you keep saying about heteronormative, and non-penetrative definitions of sex, and I definitely came because you were stroking me and then you _licked_ me and I....” Ray stops talking and stops rubbing the come off of Gerard’s face. “ _Too_? You mean..? We’re fucking ridiculous. We fucking waited to fall in love to have sex. We’re the worst fucking rockstars in the world.” He giggles.

“We are _not_ , we’re fucking awesome.” Gerard is having a really fucking hard time processing all of this but he’s pretty sure that Ray just said he loved him. “And we should totally have some more sex and prove it. Right now.”

“Yeah. Yeah we should.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Worst Fucking Rockstars in the World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/989823) by [argentumlupine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentumlupine/pseuds/argentumlupine), [dapatty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty)




End file.
